How Do You Define Yourself?
What do you tell people about yourself? Have you ever thought about how what you say about yourself transmits intimate knowledge to others? Do you say things like, “I never get anything done,” or “I’m so disappointed with my career,” or “I wish I was a better parent?”
The reality is that when you say less-than-positive things about yourself to others, you create an inaccurate image of you in their minds.
Ponder these points to enhance your self-image as well as how others see you:
1. What kind of person are you? How would you describe yourself?
2. List your positive personal qualities. What are the very best things about you? Spend some time looking at your actions.
Maybe you consider the needs of others over your own.
Perhaps you’re a very giving person.
You might see yourself as patient, kind, confident, or “devil-may-care.”
You could be a pioneer of sorts—you’re never afraid to try something new.
Do you step up to help an elderly neighbor anytime she needs it?
Are you an “idea” person at work where others look to you to problem-solve a situation?
3. What are your motives related to your personal choices? Why do you think it’s important to (fill-in-the-blank)?” Ponder what motivates you to complete a task, stay in shape, and whatever else you came up with related to your positive qualities.
4. Which kind of remarks about yourself do you usually make: positive or negative? If you tend to put yourself down, what compels you to do so? Are you trying to be humble? Do you encourage others to have a negative picture of you?
5. List the negative comments you make to others about yourself. Include all of them—“I’m so fat,” or “I can’t seem to find time to clean the house,” or “Nobody at work ever notices what I do.” For each comment, allow time to jot down specifically why you believe you say these things.
For example, for the “I’m so fat” comment, rather than saying “Because I am” as your reason why you say it, troubleshoot the situation. What specifically makes you feel you’re fat?
Your reasoning could look something like, “Because I’m 20 pounds overweight, according to the weight charts” or “because I’m wearing a size 38 pants instead of 34 like I used to wear.”
The goal here is to determine the underlying reasons you make these statements. By becoming aware of your reasons, you’ll put yourself on the path to raising your opinion of yourself.
6. Do you want to change something about yourself? If so, what could you do? Decide to change your actions if you want to change your results. Make a plan with achievable steps to your goal.
7. It’s solution time. You can accept the way you are without any more negative statements, or you can endeavor to change whatever it is that brings about your comments. If you decide to make a few changes, start now to work toward those goals and have confidence in your ability to change. Your conversations will reveal your new, more positive outlook!
Become the person you want to be by refusing to say anything negative about yourself to others. Share positive experiences with zeal without overdoing them. Through what you say to others, you can re-shape what they (and you) think of you.
You’ll discover more happiness, experience more self-respect, and become more comfortable with the incredible person you are!