How to Silence Your Inner Critic
We all have that inner critic that we just want to silence and to tell to "F" off. Life would be so much simpler if our inner critic would learn to chill once in a while. If you pay attention and really focus on this critic, you'll be shocked by what they say. You've never met such a negative person in your life. We most likely wouldn't put up with someone else talking to us in this manner, but we allow the abuse to continue from our inner critic. Yet we take advice from our inner critic as if they are an expert; however; nothing is more untrue.
How to change your inner dialogue:
1. Pay attention and hear what your inner critic is saying without emotion. Pause and listen for a moment. Recognize the things it says. It won't take much to realize your listening to an unhinged wacko. In fact, pay attention to your inner dialogue in general. Think about what you would say to yourself when you are doing a hobby, learning something new, or even a simple task around the house.
"This sucks. I don't want to be doing this, or this is too difficult. I'm done!. I'm going to go watch T.V."
You turn the T.V. on... I like this show, but the acting sucks, and there are too many commercials. I am going to get something to eat.
I'm still overweight and can barely move because I am stuck deep in the cushions of this damn couch. If my dad had treated me better, I wouldn't have an addiction to food that loves me back. I loved to watch that fat ass Nutty Professor when I was a kid..."
***What would you think if you were next to someone talking out loud like this to themselves? You'd be slowly moving away, looking for the nearest exit. Yet this is precisely how we speak to ourselves. The key is to recognize that you are listening to someone you would run from in real life. There is no need to take inner dialogue so seriously and drag it around with you and then believe it as an authority over you.
2. What would you say to a child or a friend in the same situation? Imagine what a close friend you trust would say to you. The words they would use, comments and advice would be vastly different from how your inner dialogue criticizes you.
* When your critical dialog starts, ignore the criticism and consciously practice being as gentle with yourself as you would to a friend or a child.
It's funny how your life improves when you surround yourself with positive, affirming, accepting, and non-judgmental people.
3. Think back to all the times you had success. Phycologists believe it takes 10 positive experiences to overcome one bad experience. Allow yourself a few times a day to cherish the great things you have achieved.
* In fact, with diligence, this can become a habit. As soon as a negative thought enters your mind, you can instantly think of something positive instead.
4. Take notes. Rather than just listen to what your inner critic says, write it down in your journal or notebook. It will seem like it has less authority in a new format.
5. Call out your inner critic. What evidence does is have to back up the negative statement. Can you think of a time in the past where the comment was wrong?
* If you were more confident, how would you view this situation? What can you gain from your current situation?
6. Focus on the now. The past holds very little value in the present day. And the future is impossible to predict. Stay focused in the moment and make the most of it. Consistently living in the moment the best of your ability will take care of tomorrow.
7. Find gratitude. The fastest way to increase your happiness and inner dialogue is to spend time being thankful. Think of things in your life that increase your joy and fill you with gratitude.
Your inner critic has little to offer you. Understand that your inner talk can sound real silly at times. You'd never associate yourself with someone that speaks or talks that way. And you would never accept them as an authority in your life. You might be thinking, well... I might! Let's just agree you shouldn't. LOL. You should keep your distance as far as possible.
Put these tips to use and learn to master them. Over time you will start to replace the cynical asshole inner critic with a badass that will guide you through some extraordinary times in your life. You will feel and see yourself begin to speak with confidence, and your success will soar.
I use these tips with people I coach daily. If you are interested in growing your confidence, self-esteem, or just need someone to talk to for advice. Click here to learn more.