How do I Stop Overthinking?
Elemanting overthinking is a process that takes practice. There is no magic pill that is going to make you stop worrying too much or too often. The first step in putting a stop to overthinking is awareness; if we expect ourselves to be able to work on an issue, we must first be mindful that it is happening. Then ask yourself is overthinking going to change the outcome? Most of the time, we overthink because we want to control every part of life. We want to know what to expect, how can we prevent it, or how can we prepare for the worst.
To get a better idea of how we can get a handle on overthinking, let's first look at how we over think different situations.
Overthinking the Past
We often dwell on the past, wondering if we had made a different choice would our life be the same? We dwell on it so much we start to overthink things, the fact is at the time we might not have known what the outcome will be, so to sit and dwell on it does us no good. You have probably heard the saying "hindsight is 20/20," this can be one of our biggest enemies in overthinking the past, we live with the choices that we make. There is no turning back.
Stop thinking so much. You're breaking your own heart. — Unknown
The best thing we can do when we are overthinking about the past is to forgive ourselves. In my book SELF COMPASSION - The Power of Forgiving Yourself, I talk about how to forgive yourself for the choices you have made in your past. Learning these essential steps will help you overcome thinking your past decisions.
Overthinking the first date
So you are ready to go on the first date, your hair looks fantastic, nails done, and you even found the right shoes to match your dress. This night is going to be fun, or is it? You begin to worry about what can go wrong, what if I say the wrong thing? Did I wear the right shoes, does this dress make me look fat? What if he does not like what I have to say or what if I ramble on too much? You start to think about every little possibility that can go wrong to nth degree. Your stomach starts to turn; you begin to sweat profusely. This is the trap game of overthinking the first date. Expectations are getting higher and higher; you begin to build it up in your head.
What you want to do here is to try to get into the mindset that whatever happens, happens. NO matter how much you worry, I promise it will not change the outcome. I used to get very nervous before dates until I told myself this is not a date, but it is an adventure. I got into the mindset that no matter what happens, it was going to be a lesson. I was going to meet someone new and take in as much info as I could about the person and myself.
So keep in mind your next date, just let things naturally happen if it works out great and if it doesn't, oh well you made new memories.