What is a Situationship?
Basically, a ‘situationship’ is a relationship that has not official title, but something definitely more than friends with benefits.
You're probably asking yourself what this heck is a situationship or why they heck would you be here? LOL.... I thought the same thing when I heard that people are getting into situationships. As you probably know dating today isn't as clear as the 1950 or 60's. Back then it was more like, "Hey want to go get a burger and a shake? Put on my letterman jacket lets go." BAM -- Married with 3 kids. Now there is a an area right before you have the serious talk about "are we exclusive" called the situationship. If you dated in the modern area odds are you have been in this area a few times. If you're not sure I did some asking around and came up with 11 signs you might be in a situationship.
Urban Dictionary defines a “situationship” as “a relationship that has no label on it…like a friendship, but more than a friendship, but not quite a relationship.”
1.) Your relationship has not title.
When your friends or coworkers ask what are you guys? If you hesitate and say "I dunno, we don't really have a title." Then they might reply with "really? you haven't had the talk yet?" This is a good sign that both of you could be avoiding the conversation and just going with the flow because it benefits both of you. If might be because neither of you want to push it and mess up a good thing. Just because you haven't had the talk yet doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It just means it's not the right time yet.
2.) You put off talking about the future.
Talking about marriage, babies or where you want to be in the next 10 years can be a not so fun talk in itself. You don't know where you stand and you are avoiding it like the plague. I am not saying that you have to get in that deep either, it can be as simple as how you would fit living together, how you should split the night out, etc.
3.) Date nights are obsolete
You've been dating for awhile and the list of fun date nights have come to an end. The honeymoon stage has ran its course. Both sides are getting a little lazy, Netflix and Relax has turned into the go to norm. It's just easier to just hang out at home. Even if one of you wants to go out, it still isn't brought up. Maybe you can feel it and want to talk about it, but you don't want to rock the boat.
4.) You care for them, but you haven't said the "L" word
You would be sad if you broke up but as far as love goes your heart just isn't in it. You still get excited to hang out and do things, but you don't have the feels that you would normally have with someone you're deeply in love with.
Situationship - lets just chill, have sex and be confused on the fact that we are not together but have official feelings for eachother.
5.) Solo events are still a thing
Work events, weddings, holidays, you aren't putting your plus one to good use.
When it comes time to put down their name to fill in how many would be attending the event you tell yourself that you guys aren't there yet. Even though the relationship has moved into that area in every other way.
6.) You're not dating anyone else
You have decided not to date anyone else but the exclusive talk hasn't happened. You made the choice that you don't need to be on the market any longer. You're taking a break from putting yourself out there. You might feel that things are going in the right direction and for now you're comfortable.
7.) Stay overs happen most nights
Sleep overs are happening often, it's more that come over just for sex. When the morning rolls around you guys enjoy breakfast and coffee together. You even might have a drawer and a toothbrush that stays as well.
8.) They haven't met your friends
Your friends know you are hanging out with someone and they try to ask questions about them. You're not ready to spill the deets yet. You might have shared their name and what they do for work but as far as how things are going, you keep that to yourself.
9.) You don't have one single pic together
You have gone on dates but still haven't taken a pic together. You guys haven't make it official on social media either. You scroll through your phone to show your friends a pic of the cute little dog that lives next door but you realize that in doing so you haven't seen one pic of the guy you are seeing.
"Just broke up with someone I am not even in a relationship with" My definition of being in a situationship - Instagram Follower
10.) They haven't met the family
Mom invites you over for dinner and says "hey why don't you bring your friend?"
Instead of saying sure why not, you make up a lame excuse that they are busy instead. You don't want to have to spend the evening without them but you're just not ready to take the step forward yet. You might even text them the whole time you're at your moms but actually letting them meet the family just doesn't set right yet.
11.) Your form of communication is with text
You get the classic "wyd" text, often followed by do "you want to see me ?" You might even communicate most the day over text and in the evening it might even spice up. You don't facetime or use audio in anyway. The long late night super deep conversations are gone and now most everything has turned to straight to the point conversations.
A Waste of My Time (Story from a Follower)
It went on for about 5 months and now we no longer speak… I know you were saving ourselves from heartbreak, a scary relationship, and so much more, but it took two to tango… I did not have any sort of feelings for him in the beginning, but he did for me, and once my cold heart began to become warm was when he decided to leave… I learned the game and I wanted to wrap him in it, but I felt that he was genuine and his character was true. I never thought of this coming out of it, for the simple fact we agreed that we liked that it was just us, we had no title, but we were only with each other, yet still having freedom. He said he was beginning to gain feelings, but he didn’t want to me to be in a storm that may brew if what we had were to continue. He suggested for a minimization on communication, yet still would like to be around me…and I’m sorry, but if we have feelings for each other and you are deciding to distance yourself, we can’t associate for awhile… It sucks, but this is why you keep your distance in the first place. This is why a situationship is so popular. -Nessa
So now what?
Well if you read through all 11 signs you’re in a situationship and you came to the conclusion that you're both at a stand still. You might ask yourself what do you want out of this relationship? Is it just convenient to have half a partner than to have a full partner that could hurt your heart? The "what are we" question would be what the next logical to ask or bring up, but that question is scary enough to make that person run and hide. It really comes down to how comfortable you are in being in the situationship and if both of you are the same page. It could be uncomfortable if one person is moving faster than the other.
****** After doing my research situationship is one of my favorite millennial words of all time.
I would love to read your views or your experiences with being in a situationship. Please feel free to comment below.