I want to make something clear about love. I believe that deep down, each one of us knows what real love is, but, despite knowledge, along the way, we get perplexed. So confused, that we want to turn something that isn’t loved into love so badly, that we break our hearts in trying to do so. What Is Real Love? Real love is not the butterflies in your stomach at first look or first kiss. It is friendship; it realizes that you enjoy spending time with that person, time that does not revolve solely around being physical. Real love is not about presents or status or expensive gifts. It’s about running through the rain, going to the movies, or only taking a walk and sharing your thoughts. It’s about wanting to please each other and being attentive. Real love is not selfish. It is putting the other person, always, before yourself. Real love is not about making excuses. It is knowing, without a doubt, that whatever is nagging at you is simply a misunderstanding, quickly cleared up with a quick conversation.
Real love is not when you feel relief when he calls/texts you, but when you feel calm and peacefulness with the lull of his voice. Real love is not wondering if he will call; it knows that he will. Real love is not when he opens the car door for you out of mere courtesy. It is when he opens that car door for you and looks deep into your eyes to make sure you are settled in comfortably. Real love is not texting and talking through the night because you are afraid that you may not have another chance to speak to them come tomorrow.
It’s when you say goodnight, knowing that they will be there tomorrow. Real love is not waiting for x amount of time to talk to each other after a date. It is an overwhelming desire to be in touch as soon as you leave. Real love isn’t when you feel vulnerable. It is being vulnerable and still feeling strong. Real love is not about indifference. It is about showing interest in what interests you, even if it is not their interest.
Real love is not being afraid to express your concerns for fear of complicating the relationship or being called emotional. Real love is full of worries, conflicts, and emotions. Real love isn’t about walking on eggshells afraid to do/say something wrong. It is the empowerment of being accepted and wanted, solely for being you, with your flaws.
Real love is not about jealousy, it is about trust and knowing that you are their only one. Real love is not about smooth sailing. Real love is like being out in the ocean through thunder and lightning and substantial scary waves.
How do you know if someone truly loves you? You will feel that they love you if and when they stay by you through the storm and smile with you, still holding you in their arms after the storm has passed. If you have to sit there and wonder, what if I had said x or did z differently, then they wouldn’t have fallen out of love with me, then it wasn’t real love. When it is just infatuation, lust, or desire, these feelings can not stand firm through time, and with any slight disturbance, they start to wither away, and one is left with nothing. In a real love relationship when these elements begin to fade away, you are left with a friend and with respect, with someone who wants you by their side, and who will be by your side. Someone who just like you, sees the fire dying away and instead of turning away and starting a new fire somewhere else, they keep working on your fire, blowing on the little flame to make it bigger. They keep searching and finding small dried twigs to add to that fire just like you do.
All relationships have one law: never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you are there.
It takes two people to keep that fire going, and if it is just one person doing all the work, the fire will die away eventually.
Remember, lust and infatuation only last so long, don’t keep those rose-colored glasses on simply because you do not want to admit that that’s all it was. Accept it as is, desiring someone to the point of surrender is tremendous, but that’s all it is, a surrender to a moment in time. Pick yourself up and find someone who will love you for you, beyond pure lust, beyond the overwhelming desire, someone who is a true friend, someone who gives you as much as you give to them. Don’t Waste Your Time. Be Yourself -