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Why Do We Chase the Ones Who Ignore Us?



Why Do We Chase the Ones Who Ignore Us?

It's odd, don't you think?

The fact that we chase after the ones that don't want us but ignore the ones that chase after us.


There is a reason for the and Phycology is the reason behind it.


We want approval because we have insecurities.


Every person on the planet has some insecurities. It finds comfort in knowing that no matter what, people will accept us for the flaws we have about ourselves. When we get rejected, the first thing we go to is our insecurities; the way we feel about ourselves must be the reason others don't like us, right?


Am I too fat, did I talk too much or say the wrong thing, did I wear the wrong clothes? A man lacking in height might think the reason he is getting rejected is that he is too short. We want people to approve the things that we dislike about ourselves in the hope that we get achieve their approval. There are endless possibilities as to why someone might not be into you.


We as people naturally want to achieve a point where we have no flaws at all; we continuously try to achieve perfection, so we quickly chase after the ones that reject us in hopes that we can clear the air and get another chance. We will chase after people that refuse us so that we can prove to ourselves that if others like us for our flaws, then our imperfections aren't as a big deal as we think. Example: A woman that thinks her weight is an issue will chase people that reject her to prove to herself the can still be attractive even though she is a larger woman.


"You owe yourself the love you so freely give to others."

They appear to have more value.


Many of the behaviors we have a hard time explaining usually have a lot to do with the way our brains are wired and work. Our brains are wired to think the less available an item is, the more value it has. Pay attention when you go shopping next time, look for how many signs you see that say limited time only, Marketers know if they limit time on an item that people will get motivated to purchase the item before the time runs out.


Limited time applies to the dating world as well. If someone rejects us, they must have another person waiting. This causes us to want it more; their time and availability are limited. We must act to seek their approval and gain their attention.



We love a good challenge.


Most of us, especially the ones that have a competitive side to them, might like to chase the ones that reject them to scratch that challenge to see if they can flat out win. A lot of the time, people do this when they are talking to a narcissist or a player. Women, especially if they hear among their friends that a guy might be a player. If she can get his attention and hold it, then in her mind, he is validating her insecurities are not so bad, and she feels special. She also feels she has "WON" do to the fact he likes her and played everyone else.


Why do we chase after people?


Is it worth it?


At the end of the day, we have to look deep inside ourselves and as the golden question. Does it serve us to chase after others that don't see our value and reject us, or does it bring heartache and pain?


It can be at the cost of our self-esteem to continue to chase after others that reject us time and time again. If we are always trying to win the approval of others, it could mean we are going after the same type of person over and over. This starts to add up and skew the view of how we see and view ourselves. There is a very thin line between not wanting to lose someone because you really care about them and over trying to keep them because you feel insecure.


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